A chicken and a nun walk into a bar…
Once, when my two nephews were quite young, I offered them some friendly uncle advice. I told them, “If you're ever telling a story or a joke and you can somehow include a chicken or a nun in it, it will elevate the whole thing." They were puzzled, ”Why?" I explained that it was because they both instantly create visually funny images in the mind of the listener. I don't imagine either one of them have followed my counsel on the matter.
Think about it, though, if I tell you that I was recently boarding an airplane, shuffling down the isle to get to my seat, and I glanced down and saw a chicken/nun sitting in 12D, that's gonna get your attention. You're visualizing it right now.
I mean no disrespect to nuns, they're just visually intriguing figures when spotted out in the wild. More on nuns another time. I mean no disrespect to chickens, either, but they are one of my favorite creatures because they're so goofy and strange. Whenever and wherever they show up, my mood lightens. I can't think of a single situation in life, where, if a chicken walked through, it wouldn't be hilarious.
Why am I talking about chickens anyway? Because today is a discussion of the music of Rhode Island, and the Rhode Island Red breed of chicken is about the only reason I would ever think of Rhode Island. That's slightly inaccurate. I have a good friend whose son is playing college lacrosse up there, so there's that. But otherwise, next to never would Rhode Island cross my mind.
I was there once, Newport, I believe. We have a refrigerator magnet that tells me so. There were lots of boats in harbors, I vaguely recall. The sun was bright and everyone looked and acted like John Kerry. That's about it.
But the state, along with Massachusetts, is responsible for the Rhode Island Red, and for that I'm grateful. It's their state bird. It's a Frankenstein creation, produced in the mid-1800s by the cross-breeding of other kinds of chickens. It's a versatile , hardy fowl, good for meat and egg production. It, along with the White Leghorn, are the two most popular breeds in the U.S.
Chickens can make a lot of noise. Our neighbors have a bunch of them and they make music all the time. I like to hear them over there. They're like a jazz ensemble, clucking and crowing different songs at the same time. What about Rhode Island, though? Does any music come from there? Given its size and population, not a lot.
Here we go -
Best Band: I've been a fan of this band for a long time. I did not know they were from Providence, Rhode Island, however. With a name like Deer Tick, wouldn't you think they were from the South or Midwest? They formed in 2004 and have been making good alternative, folky, country-tinged, hard to categorize music ever since. People who are hard to categorize - I like those.
Best Solo Artist: This is a mighty weak field. Let's slip into the world of the smooth sounds of adult contemporary, easy listening or whatever you call it. Songs you might hear on stations that go by “The River” or “The Breeze.” Jeffrey Osborne was born in Providence 1948 into a musical family, the youngest of 12 children. He was in a soul group called L.T.D. before beginning his successful solo career.
Wildcard: I have to list two bands here. The first is Throwing Muses, a alternative post-punk bunch formed in Newport in 1981. Their original make up was two females on guitar, bass and vocals, and a dude drummer. In the day they were pretty well known in the alt universe.
The second is Velvet Crush, a power-pop crew from Providence who made some noise in the indie-rock world in the mid-90s.
Is there something great out there from Rhode Island that I've missed?