“There are two kinds of music - good music and bad music. Good music is music that I want to hear. Bad music is music that I don't want to hear.”
- Fran Lebowitz
Do you ever have this experience: You're in some situation where a song that you love happens to be playing and someone nearby says, “I can't stand this song!” It kind of shocks you, doesn't it? A song you're deeply connected with that you hear somebody express a visceral hatred for. If you're like me, you just dismiss them for their incredibly poor taste in music. But we all have songs of our own we absolutely loathe that someone somewhere considers their very special favorite.
There are those songs, however, that were at some point “popular” in the cultural and now seem to be universally despised by almost everybody. There are many lists out there of the most detested songs of all time, and some titles end up on every one of them. You no doubt can guess what some of those are and you probably wonder, as I do, how songs so wretched could have ever been popular. Were they really popular or were they the result of record company manipulation and the puppet masters that run the industry?
Don't be surprised, though, if you check some of those lists and you find yourself saying, “Well, that songs not so bad.” Such is the subjective nature of music. But, I will say, while I'm not familiar with The Black Eyed Peas' song, My Humps, and don't wish to be, it seems truly hated by one and all.
I'll bet you have a list of songs that give you heartburn and make you just cringe when you hear them somewhere. I know I sure do. For me, a trip the grocery store can be ruined by having to hear The Final Countdown over the store's sound system when I'm trying to pick out apples.
Of my personal long list, though, I'm only going to mention one because it stands alone in its wretchedness. Here it is, my all-time favorite most hated song: At This Moment by Billy Vera and the Beaters. This is a song that, when it was popular, brought forth in me an anger that's hard to explain. I had an almost irrational hatred for it. It made me want to commit an act of violence. It made me wish music had never been invented. Why this song over so many other stupendously bad ones caused such a severe reaction, I'm not sure. I guess I just couldn't make any sense of how such an insipid, schlocky, dreadful thing could ever even receive airplay, let alone become the number one song in the land at one point in 1987. What were people hearing in this tortured mess?! What had the world come to? I felt personally insulted by its existence. If I had to hear it again today, I'd feel exactly the same way.
Now, it may be your favorite song of all time, and if it is, I'm sorry. I probably have a favorite that you can't stand, so it all balances out. If you care to list your most hated song(s), feel free. Music lovers tend to have strong feelings on these things.
I'm not sure what to play here now, but we know what it's not going to be. Does a song exist that everyone likes? Maybe Happy Birthday?